Forgiveness: Strength or Weakness?

Forgiveness is a Redemption

     Forgiveness...I’m not religious in any sense of the word but when we refer to forgiveness it’s only natural that one of the 1^st things that springs to mind is the image of Christ on the cross, tormented by his persecutors, and yet he has the strength to forgive them for their malicious actions – “Father, forgive them; for they do not know what they are doing” he says. An unrealistic prospect for any individual placed in that position. Is it a result of faith that one man could have the mental fortitude to do such a thing? Is it supposedly a power brought forth from the realm of divinity? I strain my mind to understand the concept of forgiving someone who has purposefully or not brought harm to me, emotional or otherwise. Especially one that does not ask, seek or want it. “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong”(-Mahatma Gandhi)...but where does one find that strength?

     On the other hand, is there a limit after which forgiveness becomes a weakness? So overwhelmed by insecurities and fear of losing a person from your life, you’re willing to sacrifice yourself and your ideals, to forgive time and time again, no matter what... I am guilty of having been this person. Tremendously conflicted as to the intentions of the people who hurt you, it turns out to be somewhat easier to offer the benefit of the doubt rather than be taken in by the general cynicism that pervades modern society. Is this truly forgiveness though? Subjective notions are always harder to define. Turning a blind eye because we do not feel strong enough to deal with the repercussions of confrontation and loss seems more like an act of desperation, of weakness.

      It’s a fine line to tread on; a constant inner struggle between right and wrong, between your pride and humility, a choice whether to forgive, and a battle to prove to yourself that your choice was not an act of weakness.

...perhaps in the end it comes down to how you define forgiveness, the greatest misconception about it being the belief that forgiving an offense means that you condone it. It is a redemption; an escape from your demons, breaking the chains of bitterness that bind you, and allowing yourself to live again.   

Photo credit: "Redemption" by Andrew
Original photo found here 

A nice read on the subject, albeit slightly longer, may be found here
I do not agree with all that is said but it is an interesting read and was a source of inspiration for this post.
 

Keep the Faith

“I don’t bleed anymore ‘cause my heart’s been crushed, and now I’m free, lucky me” – A fitting image to convey the suffocating feelings of the broken hearted. It’s only natural to feel hurt and scared, terrified even, enough so that you’d do anything to never, ever have to find yourself in that horrible place ever again. No-one likes feeling vulnerable, living in fear of getting hurt.  And when you no longer have that capacity to feel...are you free? Free from what? Are you indeed lucky that you can no longer be hurt? Perhaps...but what are you giving up in return?

Emotional scars remind us where we've been. But it
doesn't have to dictate where we're going.

I remember making a promise to myself when I first discovered romance, just a little kid at the time. A naive romantic childish thought it was, about how I’d never let the amazing thing called love, glorified in movies and novels, be belittled by anything or anyone. A sort of stubborn childish response to getting knocked down; I wouldn’t let it hinder me, make me hesitant or fear falling in love again in the future! “It’s worth it!” I’d tell myself –Through that child’s naivety however, emerged an ideal which resonates strongly in the hearts of many. Is every person’s quest for companionship not worth the risk, the sacrifice of vulnerability? To some it may be too great a sacrifice, to others it may seem ridiculous to call it even that. At the end of the day it all boils down to  one thing : Are you satisfied with living a safe life in mediocrity or will you continue taking that risk, a leap of faith, in your search to find true happiness?

 “To fear love is to fear life, and those who fear life are already three parts dead”
-Bertrand Russell

Photo credit in order of appearance:

1/ paigeontoast - Original photo found here

2/ Maasje -Original photo found here

Title inspired by Bon Jovi song "Keep the Faith"
P.S. Comments welcomed and would be very appreciated

Bound by Pride?

     I’ve gradually grown very close to a certain individual here at Southampton University and I’m truly amazed as to how he chooses to live his life day by day.  It took me a while to notice but whenever we talked about any future event, be it a night out or just a casual “see you tomorrow”, he would always add a small and usually neglected word at the end, and that word was “hopefully.” When it finally clicked and I asked him what he meant by it and why he felt obliged to say it each and every time, he responded by telling me that it’s because he honestly does not feel like tomorrow is a certainty, something not to be taken for granted, as if he was grateful each and every day that he woke up and got out of bed still breathing. With this ideology governing his being, he lives every day as if it would be his last, not by resorting to doing crazy or extravagant things (albeit he does insist he wants to skydive without a chute..more commonly known as a fancy suicide...a matter of perspective I guess), but rather by expressing what he feels, when he feels it, and by tackling every situation with honesty; a sort of no regrets policy. ..something which doesn’t sound so strange when put in context; if you thought you were gonna die tomorrow, would you not want to live with no regrets?

     What I wouldn’t give to have the nerve to be able to live my life in the same way, with no time for fear, no time for hesitation, self doubt...perhaps in an ideal world.  A world in which pride and every man’s wonderful ego doesn’t call the shots; restrict us from acting on our emotions; being true to our heart and soul.  That same pride that stops us from showing that we are in fact vulnerable.  The luxury of a seemingly infinite amount of time lets us indulge in this vice. But what if you knew you were living your last days, your last hours, your last minutes? Would your perspective change when you no longer had that wide safety net of time to fall back into? Would you forfeit your pride, your ego and your fear and do what you’ve always truly wanted to do but been too scared to do before? If so, then why do we feel like such behaviour is appropriate only in the extreme case and not in our everyday lives? ...food for thought. 

“The sin of pride may be a small or a great thing in someone's life, and hurt vanity a passing pinprick, or a self-destroying or ever murderous obsession.” - Iris Murdoch

Photo Credit: "Pride" by Meminesis
The original photograph may be found here


I'd also like to link the following photograph:
 http://www.flickr.com/photos/hannaheartless/4456692878/

Is Technology Taking Over?

     I went up to Leamington last Sunday to visit a friend. Within 5 minutes of me getting there, after a 2.5 hour train ride mind you, he decided that we were going to go play golf! Do keep in mind that my only previous contact with the notion of golf was swinging a Wii controller up and down and looking at little cartoon characters play it on screen... So we start with some stroke practice where I proved my status as a complete golf newbie and nearly decapitated the man standing next to me at one point with a golf ball...thankfully there were very tall and sturdy barriers set up to prevent this sort of thing...it must be a common occurrence. I get a phone call a little later from a friend we were expecting to arrive in Leamington soon. When I told him what we were up to his response was something along the lines of: “...you mean on the playstation?!”  Amusingly enough not only did I not find it strange that he would ask that but I probably would have asked the same thing in his shoes.

     That got me thinking about how closely tied our generation has become to technology that we’d sometimes consider it more “normal” in a sense to be playing a simulation of a game or sport rather than be outside trying to do it ourselves. It’s a fine line to balance, where does technology stop being a helpful tool and start governing everything we do making us unable to do anything without it? I’m guilty myself of relying a little too much on my smart phone from time to time.  So when does it stop being clever use and start becoming abuse? The possibility of being able to get so immersed in a simulation of the world and experiencing everything without having to face the real world is a scary notion, especially for parents who are less clued in about this technologically rich world and have a hard time understanding where the line lies determining between what remains reasonable and what can be considered an excessive and dangerous abuse of it.

...I guess one could say that when you stop thinking, acting and experiencing life for yourself because "technology is here to do it for us" is when you've taken a step too far and indulged a little too much.

Photo credit: "Reach in and reach out" by Tomitheos

Original photograph may be found here

Hello and Welcome!

     Hello all and welcome to my blog. My name is Miltiades Vassiliou, I'm Greek-Cypriot and I'm currently at the University of Southampton studying Physics. As you may have already aptly determined, this blog is my exploration of life. I aim to draw on life experiences to promote topics that made me think or feel intensely, things that I hope people will be able to relate to and perhaps spark thought or debate.

Thank you for visiting and reading thus far. Hope to see you and talk to you in the future.
  

Photo Credit: "Welcome" by Christopher Gaines
Original photograph may be found here